2003 State of the Universe Address
by
Swami Beyondananda
Hello everybody -- it is great to
be here ... and you know what? We really have no choice. Because
no matter where we are, we are always here. And it is always now.
In fact, there's even a book called The Power of Now. I haven't
had time to read it yet, but I hope to get to it in a later now.
Meanwhile, back in this now, the
issue facing the United States, and indeed the world is, will
George Bush give in to his Big Iraq Attack and order up a war?
Latest reports say that a war to force a regime change in Iraq
will cost $200 billion. It is puzzling to me why some of those
fiscal fitness fanatics in the Republican Party haven't tried
to find a cheaper way to do it. Maybe if they offered the Iraqis
half -- $100 billion -- they could do it themselves.
Then we'd still have $100 billion
left to spend on regime change in this country.
Because -- and I have to be blunt
here -- the folks we have in charge are fossils fueled by fossil
fuels. And in the reptilian brain, problems aren't solved, they're
attacked.
Like the War on Poverty. Remember
that? I'm happy to report that it's finally over. The poor people
have all surrendered. And take the War on Drugs -- please! How
many billions have they spent? My solution is cheaper and more
effective ... improve reality!
Now we have the War on Terrorism.
We're going to terrorize those terrorists into giving up terrorism
if it's the last thing we do! And it just might be. The good news
is ? and I have it on the Highest Authority -- there will indeed
be peace on Earth. Whether we humans are around to enjoy it, that
is up to us.
No wonder there is so much fear,
uncertainty and confusion on the planet. I'll tell you how bad
it's gotten. You've heard of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle?
Well, they're not even sure about THAT anymore. And so, more and
more people are turning to the mystics for answers.
I have often said there are two
kinds of mystics, the optimystics and the pessimystics. Now pessimystics
seem to be more in touch with "reality," but optimystics
are happier and live longer for some reason. The pessimystics
have been crying, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!"
The
optimystics say, "No. It just looks that way because we are
ascending."
Now, for those people who read
the news -- not to mention those unfortunate enough to BE in the
news -- last year was not an easy year to keep an optimystic attitude
with so much pessimystic evidence. Call me a hopeless "hopium"
addict, but I choose to accentuate the positive. For
example, you can say we human beings have moved further down the
path of self-destruction. Or you could say the Earth is ridding
itself of a virulent parasite.
You can despair over continuing
war, disease and starvation, or you can go, "Hey, population
control the good, old fashioned way -- without birth control or
abortion." Who says compassionate conservative" is an
oxymoron? You can worry about the government taking liberties
with our liberties or you can say, "Life has become simpler!
They've boiled the Bill of Rights
down to just one: You have the right to remain silent."
So I am not going to dwell on the
negative. As my guru Harry Cohen Baba used to say, "Life
is like photography ... we use the negative to develop."
So let us look at the bright side.
Like technological advances, for
example. Forty years ago President John F. Kennedy promised to
have a man on the moon by the end of the 1960s. Well, we have
far exceeded that. Thanks to the so-called Patriot Act, George
Bush can have a man on Uranus by the end of the week!
George Bush was responsible for
a great spiritual advance last year, as well. He upgraded the
Golden Rule for the new millennium. It's now the Gold Rule: "Doodoo
unto others before they can doodoo unto you."
And -- say what you will -- President
Bush has made great strides on behalf of minority representation.
Never before have we had a President who was looking out for a
smaller minority.
Now this is the State of the Universe
Address, and seen from that higher perspective, things look great!
I am happy to report that the Universe continued to expand in
2002, and in fact, they actually had to let the Photon Belt out
a another notch. An expanding Universe means more jobs too, so
we can expect a steady influx of aliens looking for work. Yep,
the Universe just keeps purring in perfection, ever-changing as
usual. The planets continue to harmoniously spin in their orbits,
and except for the occasional case of asteroids, they just calmly
go about their business.
Meanwhile, back here on earth,
things are a bit more problematical. We still haven't fully recovered
from that vicious dogma attack of 911. But as an optimystic, I
believe you can indeed teach an old dogma new tricks, simply by
changing the emPHAsis to another sylLABle. Instead of focusing
only on emergency measures, why not take emerge 'n SEE measures?
When we emerge from our fearful hiding places and see from the
cosmic comic perspective, we realize that beneath all the stress
and distress and sadness in life there is a deep well of joy.
Each time we let laughter bubble up from the well, we experience
deep wellness. Levity helps us overcome gravity, especially when
we shine the light of laughter on those poorly-lit corridors of
power.
Do you know what the leading cause
of terrorism is? It's seriousness. I'm serious. Think about it.
Those people have no sense of humor. Otherwise how could they
believe they will get to heaven by putting other people through
hell?
Here is my vision: A suicide bomber
arrives at the Gates of Heaven, and God clops him over the head
and says, "SCHMUCK! What'd you do that for? 72 virgins? YOU
get one 72-year-old virgin, and his name starts with Ayatollah!"
But if Americans are willing to
revive the Iraqi Horror Picture Show just to feed our out-of-control
oil habit, how are we that different? How many innocents will
be put through hell, just to preserve our little corner of relative
heaven? There is no real peace without harmony and balance, only
the vicious cycle of injustice. Peons get tired of getting peed
on, right? You get pissed on, and pretty soon you're gonna get
pissed off. This causes the hot spots to flare, and pretty soon
you have an uprising, which usually results in a downfall. All
these uprisings and downfalls can be wearing on the body politic.
Fortunately, we do have a choice.
One of my favorite stories recently is about a Native American
grandfather talking to his young grandson. He tells the boy he
has two wolves inside of him struggling with each other. The first
is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other wolf is fear,
greed and hatred. "Which wolf will win, grandfather?"
asks the young boy. "Whichever one I feed," is the reply.
Every day -- every moment -- we
have the choice to feed the wolf of love or the wolf of fear.
It is interesting that we are called humanKIND. What better time
than now to find out, can mankind treat man kindly?
I have a dream ... I call it tell-a-vision.
I say, if you're dissatisfied with the current programming, you
can turn off your TV and tell a vision instead. Here is my vision:
Remember the Manhattan Project during World War II? It took less
than four years for a group of scientists to develop the first
weapon of mass destruction. My vision is, we can do even better
for an even worthier goal. We could call it the Manhelpin Project,
and its purpose would be to develop the first weapon of mass construction
instead. Think about it. What if we used that $200 billion set
to detonate in Iraq,
and put it toward becoming the worldwide leader in renewable,
clean, sustainable energy sources? Now there's some real power.
Create something so plentiful you don't have to pay an army to
protect your share. A healthy income, a healthy outcome ... what
could possibly make more sense?
Boy, talk about feeding two birds with one scone!
The choice is up to us. If we want
an alternative, we must feed the "alter native" economy
... anything that alters us natives for the better. The world
we live in is a byproduct of the products we buy, is it not? What
if we only choose to buy products with healthy byproducts? Think
about this:
There are at least 45 million Americans who consciously want to
feed the wolf of peace. If each of us switched just $100 into
the alter native economy, that would be $4.5 billion!
Last year, we launched a blisskrieg
and declared "all out
peace." I'm happy
to report it is already working. More people are letting their
inner peace
out, and these outbreaks of peace are actually causing esteem
to rise! And
we all know that rising esteem is good for the atmosphere.
As esteem rises, more people on
the planet will be able to be all that
they
can be -- without joining the army. And when more of us put our
energy
into
love and laughter instead of criticizing and condemning, we will
have
Uncritical Mass ... and we will bring about Nonjudgment Day, and
along
with it,
Disarmaggedon. Now you might be wondering, what will Nonjudgment
Day look
like?
Let me tell another vision.
I have been to the heights of levity,
and I have seen people all over the
world dancing together in the universal dance of fool realization
... The
Hokey Pokey. I want you to hold this vision with me: all of the
world
leaders at the United Nations beginning their sessions with the
Hokey
Pokey.
What if Ariel Sharon and Yasser
Arafat put their whole selves in? That
would be commitment. And then pulled their whole selves out. That
is
detachment. Then they turn themselves around, which is transformation.
And
that, my friends, is what it is all about!
So, how can you help raise the
laugh force on the planet enough to bring about Nonjudgment Day?
First, you can take a vow of levity, and laugh more. And we even
have a Laughmore Society to help you do just that. Next, you can
support everyone's right to laugh by joining the Right To Laugh
Party... "One big party, everyone is invited. All for fun,
and fun for all." Commit random acts of comedy. Practice
Fun Shui and leave the world a funnier place. Anything to elicit
a moment of fool-realization with a spark of laughter. Because
only when we lovingly laugh at our foolishness, can we seriously
change things for the better . May you wake up laughing and leave
laughter in your wake ... and may the Farce be with you!
About the Author
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