AN ALTER NATIVE REALITY
by
Swami Beyondananda

Do we really create our own reality? Or is it all scripted out over at Universal Studios? The debate has raged as long as debates have been the rage, and I can provide no definitive answer either. Certainly some really big blockbusters have come out of Universal -- and more disasteroid scenarios are predicted for the near future. And yet, small independents continue to write and star in their own successful movies.

As more and more of these alternative scripts get produced, this is helping to bring about an alter native reality. And that is a good thing. For indeed, the native reality could use some altering. In a recent reality check, 71% of those responding said they "disapproved" of the current reality -- the lowest approval rating reality has had since the Great Flood. This is understandable. Consider the political scene, for goodness sakes. All those endless buttals and rebuttals. The media baits us into arguing, and we keep falling for debate. It is so silly -- we could be making a beautiful brainchild together, and instead we are mass-debating.

And even those natives who ignore the political goings on, they too are in need of altering. Perhaps you are one of those going through "psychic midlife spread" and are complaining, "I seem to have outgrown my old life and nothing fits anymore." Well, as my beloved guru Harry Cohen Baba, the Garment Center Saint, used to say, "When something doesn't fit, you need to make alterations."

Now in the old days when Harry Cohen Baba was still on the material plane, people would come in for alterations all the time. Perhaps they'd just been in a serious karma wreck or suffered a near-debt experience, and their old habits were in tatters. He'd snip a little material here, mend a little tear there, and the natives would leave in a truly altered state, often remarking about how well their life fit.

"Wow. No crimping in the crotch! No more constriction around the neck! And look -- my arms are swinging freely!" I tell you it was quite a blessing to have a guru who could custom-tailor your reality like that. I remember shortly before his passing, the great healer's disciples gathered at his bedside and cried, "What will we do without you?"

The Garment Centered One shrugged and said, "Suit yourself." And this is only fitting. We can alter our own reality (not to mention the reality of the natives around us) by following these simple suggestions:

1. Tell A Vision. If you don't like the current programming, be your own channel and tell a vision. Instead of being just another divisionary taking sides on the latest televised drama, become a visionary who uses the spectacle to help us all see more clearly. If enough of us do this, even mainstream media will have to replace its commentators with uncommontaters who have an alter native vision. For indeed there is a Divine Order. When you tell your vision, you are filling out your Divine Order Form. As Harry Cohen Baba told us after one of his New Deli pilgrim ages, "Life is like a good deli. If enough people order something, they'll have to make it."

2. Be An Esteem-Generator. Each of us at some time in our lives has been flattened by an esteem-roller, and it's taken months or years to get back up to a full head of esteem. You can speed up this process -- and alter native reality -- by becoming an empowerhouse who helps others generate their own esteem. As you know, esteem rises and rising esteem might even be the cause of this global warming we've heard so much about. People are definitely becoming warmer. Just a few years ago, it wasn't cool to be warm. Now being warm is becoming cool again. This is bound to have an effect on the overall climate.

3. Life Is A Bun Dance, So Get Out On The Flow. Sometimes when reality becomes too unpleasant, there is a temptation to dance off into the void. Clearly, this is a void dance. The opposite of a void dance is a bun dance. If you want to enjoy a bun dance, you gotta get up off your assets and shake those buns. Sadly, too many of us don't know our assets from a hole in the ground. To create an alter native reality -- and promote a bun dance -- we gotta move our assets and dance, dance, dance, till the sacred cows come home.

4. Don't Get Even -- Get Odd. Being odd is natural. Each of us is one-of-a-kind, and number-wise it doesn't get any odder than one. (As a matter of fact, that is why Ulysses's journey was called an "oddyssey" -- because he was alone.) And any mathematician will tell you that one is the oddest number that you'll ever do. So rejoice that you are unique -- just like everyone else -- and encourage others to get odd as well. That way the odds will be with us as we promote alter native lifestyles. The more we realize God made us odd for a reason, the less energy we will waste trying to get even.

5. Laugh At Your Own Expense. According to a recent report issued by the Eternal Revenue Service, each time someone laughs at our expense, it is credited to our cosmic expense account, which makes it an excellent way to buy down karmic debt. So next time you are feeling foolish, smile, shrug, and say, "This one's on me!" Who knows? You may be able to skip a few karma payments. For indeed, laughter provides karmic relief. As the old saying goes, "Laugh at yourself, and the whole world will laugh at you too." Imagine a world of fooly-realized beings wholeheartedly laughing at themselves. This would certainly alter our native reality for the better.

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